And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
After two weeks of feeling like I was being tossed about at sea in a terrible storm, thank God, I’m in calm waters again. As I mentioned in my last blog, a very lucrative part-time job fell into my life two weeks ago. I’d seen a job posted on a freelance website and applied for it, and within about 4 days, the woman had interviewed me via Skype and hired me on the spot. I was blown away, and praising God for the job.
However, I already had a lot of work sitting on my plate from two other clients, so as my new supervisor began throwing emails at me and trying to get me ramped up VERY quickly, I was struggling to finish up the work I’d already committed to with my other two clients. The one client is one I’ve had for more than a year, but the work he gives me is sporadic, and not enough for my financial needs. The other client was a brand-new client whose book I was editing…I’m assuming she’s a one-time client. So the new job was welcomed.
Strangely, almost immediately after I took the new job, my computer began to act up. I knew I needed to have it looked at, but I didn’t feel like I had the time to hand it over to a computer repair place. We have another PC here, but it’s in my daughter’s room, and it didn’t have all the software loaded that I needed, nor did it have my document files, etc. But finally when my ailing computer began to cripple the work I was trying to do, I surrendered and took it to the repair place. Meanwhile, my new supervisor was becoming more convinced that I was not nearly technical enough for the job. I spent hours watching training videos on all kinds of software. I produced my first little newsletter for the job–a very simple little newsletter that took my supervisor 20 minutes to create–and the first time, it took me at least an hour and a half…again, I was struggling with my computer and the new software. Three mornings I got up at 4:30 a.m. to try to catch up on everything, including finishing up all my extraneous work for my other clients. I was tired, stressed-out and cranky.
After being without my laptop for a day and a half, I got it back, thinking that all would be rosy from then on. They had found a virus and cleared it and a bunch of adware from my computer. But yesterday morning, I sat down to produce another little “20-minute” newsletter, and my computer began to act up again. I couldn’t do something as simple as highlighting text. I kept running my cursor over the text, but it simply wouldn’t highlight. The newsletter was due in my supervisor’s in-box. I had hit a wall…I simply couldn’t go to her again and explain that my computer wasn’t working. It became apparent that something clearly wasn’t right.
I sat there and prayed. “Lord, what am I supposed to do? Is this job really from you?” It didn’t seem like God would give me a new job that would be such an uphill battle, and where stress was the primary result. Then I heard those words He’d spoken to me just a week before… “Let go.” Really, Lord? Is that You speaking? Was this job not from You? “Let go,” He said again. “I am with you.” “OK,” I said and went to my computer and quickly typed out a letter of resignation.
The moment I sent it, a huge weight dropped off my shoulders. Peace flooded my soul. Odd, I thought…the job had seemed like such a God thing at first. Great money. Great hours. I could continue to work from home. When the “perfect” thing or person comes into our life, how can we know that it is sent from the Father of lights? I think we need to test it against the one constant that is of God: His peace. When that peace is not present, then perhaps it’s a counterfeit.
Another thought that occurred to me after I let the job go was this: What if I had mistakenly let the job go, what if I really hadn’t heard from God but had heard only my tired desire to release the stress? What if I had made the wrong choice? Then the glorious truth hit me that God knew eons ago what I would do…that I would send the letter of resignation…and He already had a plan for me. What’s so fantastic about God is that He is God. He knows our whole story from the beginning. It’s not like He suddenly has to come up with Plan B when we mix up our signals from Him. He already knows what we’re going to do. He’s already got it planned out perfectly. God never has a Plan B. He always has Plan A.
So I can rest in His arms right now, and know that He will take care of me. He “will supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Whew. What a relief.
