I had a weird dream. I was in my car at the gas pump, but my car was not aligned correctly, so I was trying to back and fill. Trouble was, I had the sun visor over my windshield and I could not see. I kept telling myself it was a hassle to take it down, that I could peek through my side view windows and get my bearings. But, they soon went black. Okay, I said to myself. I can do this from memory and use my rear-view mirror. Then my car became stuck in reverse and as I tried in vain to release it, my car kept rolling back, back, back towards a steep incline into a ravine. My heart raced. My palms became sweaty.
My alarm clock’s buzzing woke me.
As I said – weird. Some dreams I forget within minutes after arising. This one stuck with me, so I figured it had meaning. From Biblical examples, I thoroughly believe God can speak to us in dreams, so I prayed for wisdom. This is what I got – but not until I heard the lesson in church today.
When I try my own way to become filled so my life will have purpose, I am going about it as if I were blind. I cannot get my bearings- much less find the pump. Yet in my human stubbornness I try, relying on past experiences to set my course. All I can see is backwards from where I came, I cannot adequately move forward until I realize that fact and take down what is blinding me from seeing God’s directive. I must admit I need His insight. Otherwise, I will keep traveling backwards and find myself in dire need of help.
Today in church, our lesson was about Jesus entering the boat and calming first the disciples, then the storm. (Mark 6:45-52) He had just performed the biggest miracle of his career – feeding thousands of people from a boy’s meager lunch. In other words, Jesus provides our needs.
Now He goes up to pray on a mountain, all the while keeping an eye on his followers who are now having a hard time moving forward in the boat due to some heavy winds. They are struggling on their own, yet they keep trying on their own. Fear overtakes them, but they never call on Jesus.
They didn’t have the faith He would provide if He was not right there with them. They figured they had to do it all themselves. He comes down and walks ahead of them on the water (miracle two) so they can see Him. That doesn’t relieve their fears, they think it’s a ghost.
So, Jesus gets in the boat, says “Hey, it’s me guys, have no fear.” The winds cease. Mark does not tell us what Jesus does next. I think He stands there, arms crossed and looks deeply with love into each of their eyes yet all at once, as if to say, “Now will you believe?”
When do you see Jesus in your struggles? Do you have the faith that He always has His eye on you? Do you need a miracle to get you to realize that fact, or do you need to feel His presence so close to you you almost share breath? Or, do you rely on the past and try to forge ahead on your own, blind and without guidance. My dream, and the disciples in the boat, may lead you to what you are suppose to answer. We all want the faith strong enough to know He is always with us in every circumstances and we should always lean on His understanding, and power, not our own. But do we?
The good news is Jesus will meet you where you are in your faith walk, just as He did His disciples. Had my alarm clock not wakened me, I am now sure that is how my dream would have ended – with Jesus taking the wheel jsut in the nick of time, fixing the gear box, removing the sun visor and pulling me forward all the while holding me close as I sniffled my thank yous. After all, Jesus saves.