Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. (Matthew 28:16-17 ESV) (Emphasis mine).
What does it take to convince some folk, right? The stone had been rolled away. His burial linens were all that were inside. Disciples had reported seeing Him on the road to Emmaus and eating fish with Him . Jesus had told them these events would unfold as they walked the byways of Israel towards Jerusalem and broke bread together in the Upper Room. Even as Jesus appears in risen form and they bow down to worship Him, some doubted – some, not just poor old Thomas. He was the only one to voice his thoughts.
How easy it is to look back and cluck my tongue. Then I realized in a split second, I am one of those disciples. Between figuring the taxes and realizing how little I made last year, the angst began to grumble in my stomach, and then on my lips. My novel, Focused, has had fair sales, but it isn’t skyrocketing to the Amazon best seller list. I am booked for less speaking engagements this year than last, but have , or will have over the next few months, more exposure at women’s conferences outside of my metropolis. I just am not where I had hoped I would be as an author and Christian writer- wherever that is.
Then came the celestial stab to the heart. I get a Bible verse on my Droid phone everyday. I was too busy “doing God’s work” yesterday to look at it until about 9:30 pm when I checked my messages. One verse, and I was slain in humbleness. My knees buckled as tears rushed down my cheeks.
Wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in His word I hope . . .(Psalm 130:5)
I had just worshipped His resurrection at Easter services a few days ago. And yet I had doubted just like Thomas and some others over two thousand years ago.
As we have walked down this road, Jesus has told me over and over to trust. I have not starved. Money has been there in unexpected ways. You all have told me my writing touches hearts for His glory. Groups who have used my Bible studies like them. The few who have read my novel say it made them laugh, then cry, but most of all confirmed their faith in God and marriage, even through the tough times.
What does it take? Yesterday, for me it was one little verse tucked deep into the Psalms. What will it take for you when the doubts seep into the edge of your mind?
