When I came to live in this new town a few months ago, I was leaving behind several years of heartache. Or so I thought. I actually wasn’t leaving it behind. Without meaning to, I brought it with me.
For weeks after we arrived here, and began our life anew, I kept doing what I coined as “spewing.” I felt like a volcano who kept spewing up lava in the form of red-hot anger, hurt and bitterness from my former life. Never mind the fact that I had been delivered from that; that I had a new, sweet little home; that I had a wonderful, new freedom and provision for everything I and my children needed, including a wonderful new friend. I continued to act like I was still walking around with the chains of my past dragging behind me.
I didn’t know how to step out of those chains. I wanted to keep on being angry and bitter. My best friend would call me, and I would go on and on about the same things I complained about a year ago, two years ago, fifteen years ago. I think she was a little bewildered, because she thought that now that I was free, that I would be free indeed.
Then one morning during my quiet time, my good God spoke sweetly and gently to me through one of the Psalms.
O sing to the Lord a new song, for He has done wonderful things… (Psalm 98:1)
God was tired of my old song, and so were my friends. I needed to stop looking in the rear-view mirror and look ahead, because God had done wonderful things. There was no need to keep replaying past hurts, and God certainly didn’t want me to keep wallowing in them.
I decided to begin to sing a new song; a song of gratefulness for His incredible grace and mercy, for how He has brought me here, for all that He has already given me in a short time, and for all that still lies ahead. He has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I also began to sing a song of forgiveness.
And now I can honestly say:
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay;
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
And He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear, and will trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:2-3)