Sometimes I’m not as thankful as I should be for my children. I confess. God always shows me so gently that while my heart was in the right place, I should have handled such and such situation this way. Then He shows me where I went wrong. It’s not to bring about guilt because God doesn’t use that tactic. He allows me the beautiful freedom of making of making my own choices (even if they aren’t in His perfect will) and He still loves me. He waits patiently for me to make this mistake and come to Him so He can show me where I went wrong.
God lovingly allowed me to experience this with my son recently. It wasn’t any major issue but it was something that I wasn’t prepared to handle. It became a dramatic thing because I made it dramatic. Looking at it now, I realize that I didn’t even try to let God handle it nor did I trust Him with it.
My son had his first “girlfriend” and I interfered every way I could short of making him end the relationship. I saw myself becoming exactly what I didn’t want to become and I did it anyway. I think that’s commonly referred to as rebellion. Yes, I became frustrated over it, I cried over it. I even prayed over it. My next step should have been to let it go and trust God to handle it. Notice I said “should have”. I tried to convince my son to handle it the way I thought he should. Of course I’m older, more mature. He should listen to me. Not exactly.
What I learned (and will hopefully be willing to apply the next time) is that my son is a kind hearted young man who loves His Lord.
Just when I thought I had reached the end of my sanity with his relationship, I tried talking with my son (which was more of my trying to force him to do what I thought he should do). After I had run my mouth for as long as he could endure he asked if he could be alone for a little while and walked away. I just knew that he would go to his room and think about what I had said, only to emerge 20 minutes later, more wise and ready to put my “wisdom” into action. What God blessed me with instead was a picture that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
My son didn’t emerge as I thought he would. Twenty minutes passed. Thirty minutes passed. After 45 minutes I could no longer contain my anticipation and went to his room to receive his gratitude (in complete humility of course). As I approached his door I was surprised to not hear anything coming from inside. Could he have fallen asleep? What I found was much more beautiful than I could have imagined. He was on his knees in prayer. I left him alone but continued to wait anxiously for him to come and tell me that he believed it was time for the relationship to end.
Have you ever been so wrong that what you assume to be true isn’t even in the same universe as the actual truth?
My son came out of his room an hour and a half later and hugged me but went straight to his dad who hadn’t tried to tell him what to do. My husband had listened and advised our son only when he was asked. My heart was broken and yet more grateful than words can express. I’m grateful that God blessed me with a husband who is so rich with wisdom and for a son who is so much like his dad. I’m grateful that God chooses to bless me in spite of myself and that God’s handiwork is becoming more and more evident in the lives of my children.
He didn’t “break-up” with her that day or the next. He didn’t break up with her that week. He chose to trust her even when every piece of evidence said that he shouldn’t. He took his concerns to her and lovingly asked her to help him be a better friend to her and he only did this after seeking God’s guidance. What a marvelous friend he is and a true man of God he is becoming!
God’s mercy is defies description. He knows that we’re guilty and yet He chooses to pardon us? He has all the evidence that He needs to lock me up and throw away the key and yet He purchased the key that set me free from the bondage to sin eternally.
“Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.”