The Christian Woman Blog

Oct 6, 2008

A Free Fall of Faith

For those of you who read my last blog entry, titled, "U-turns Can Be Upturns if We Make Him Lord of Them," this is the sequel.

That wild, insane day was a Thursday, and on Friday, I made a big decision. I was sitting in my prayer chair that Friday morning, reflecting on the previous day, particularly the time spent in the classroom. I should have been working on Friday, too--I had committed to working at least two days a week, and Thursday was the first day I'd worked for the week. But a call to substitute had not come that morning, and I had silently thanked God for the time at home, but felt guilty I wasn't working.

So after I sat down for my favorite morning conversation with the Lord, He spoke to me about the previous day's events. "What are you doing there?" He said. "It's only causing you frustration and keeping you away from what you feel called to do. So why don't you just let go and trust me?"

I thought about my two friends who have done what I call a "free fall" and let go of their "normal" jobs and pursued their heart's call. One is my neighbor Kim, who lost her H.R. job about seven months ago within two weeks of her husband losing his job. After going through interview after interview for months, it occurred to her that God might have a different plan. As she thought about it, she realized that she loved to prepare food and feed people. That is what feeds her. So she decided to become a personal chef. She decided this even while her husband was still out of work. But when she did, she felt a huge weight drop off her shoulders, and a peace invade her heart. She knew she'd done the right thing, and she was living on trust.

That was a little over a month ago, and since then, her husband has secured a wonderful job, and Kim now has eight clients.

My friend Cheryl did something similar, but did it several months ago. She loves math, and after tutoring out of her home for a few years while maintaining a full-time computer job, she decided to leave her job and start an after-school computer-based math program for schools to help those kids who are struggling with the "new math." She's doing it with three other women, and they already have a handful of schools who have accepted the program.

So when I thought about "free falling" into my writing full-time, it wasn't such a terrifying leap from the plane. God had provided Cheryl and Kim's examples to give me encouragement, so on that Friday morning, Sept. 26, I decided to let go. I felt the same peace, and even a wonderful exhilaration.

It took me a week to find the courage, and the optimal time, to talk to my husband about it. He had been working the most ridiculous hours, literally coming home at 11:00 p.m. and later for nearly two weeks. He and his team were preparing for a huge presentation, so I rarely saw him.

When I did talk to him this last Friday, he was somewhat accepting. I talked about living on trust, and believing that God is calling me into a full-time writing ministry. After 22 years, my husband is used to my walking-by-faith lifestyle, although he hasn't always subscribed to it. So when my husband didn't overtly object, I took it as a "go" signal. I did do something a little chicken-ish--I told him that I'd like to "try" this for 3-4 months, to see how it goes, since we might have to supplement my previous small income with money from our savings. But I'm praying huge that the Lord will show him--my very pragmatic and concrete husband--that He will provide.

Still, this free fall also feels a lot like walking out on the water toward Jesus. Sorry to mix metaphors, but I feel like stepping out on the water was relatively easy, but now that I'm on the water, it's not so easy not to look down and wonder what the heck I'm doing here. It's one thing to become a personal chef and get clients. Once you get clients, you just keep preparing food. And once you get schools on board with your program, you just administer the program. But when you're a writer, and the checks aren't nearly as consistent, it can get a little scary. This is faith in the fast lane, because nearly every weekday, I get up and say, "OK, Lord, what am I writing about today, and for whom?" I have to keep walking on the water, and keeping my eyes on Him, because otherwise, I feel sure I'm going to sink.

I was in the Christian bookstore a few days ago, and my eyes fell on a book which God surely meant for me to buy. It's called "Ruthless Trust" by Brennan Manning. I have been devouring it. I was amazed that within the first chapter, it spoke to me about exactly what I've been feeling. "We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case....Against insurmountable obstacles and without a clue as to the outcome, the trusting heart says, 'Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you without any reservation and with boundless confidence, for you are my loving Father.'"

That's what I'm living right now. At times, it's a flat-out rush. At other times, like in the middle of the night, it's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. That's what free falling feels like. But you know what? I want to see what God is going to do. I know I'll have a soft landing--but where? Where will I land? That's the fun part. I'll let you know.

In his book, Brennan Manning quoted Paul de Jaegher, The Virtue of Trust: "Trust is that rare and priceless treasure that wins us the affection of our heavenly Father. For him it has both charm and fascination. Among his countless children, whom he so greatly loves and whom he heaps with tenderness and favors, there are few indeed, who truly entrusting themselves to him, live as veritable children of God....Such souls truly delight and give immense pleasure to the heart of their heavenly Father. There is nothing he is not prepared to give them."

Blessings,

Gwenn

Labels: faith, trust

-posted by Gwenn M. # 10:08 AM 2 Comments

Oct 3, 2008

Stockpiling for Winter

A few years ago PBS aired a show called Frontier House. The basic idea was to place three families out in Montana to live life as it would have been like in 1883 out on the frontier. At the end of the show, the families were judged by historical experts as to how well they had set up their homesteads to be able to survive through the winter. In 1883, if their homes weren’t sturdy and their provisions weren’t stockpiled, they wouldn’t live to see spring.

In the day of home heating and grocery stores, we don’t have to worry too much about surviving the winter. We rely on those amenities to keep us warm and fed. Unlike the frontiersman of 1883, we have tamed winter.

But we haven’t defeated winter. If we lost electrical power in this country, we would be exposed to the harshness of winter. Those amenities that we had relied on would no longer protect us and we would have to look for new ways to survive.

Never become too dependent on the material things of this world. In the blink of an eye, all of those things can be lost. The only thing that you can depend on no matter what is God.

The people on Frontier House were living a fictitious life. If they hadn’t succeeded well enough to make it through a Montana winter, it didn’t really matter – they were going back to their 21st century homes. But how we carve out our lives as Christians in this world does matter. Yes, we’ll ultimately return to our home in heaven. But like the people on the TV show, we will be judged on how well we do in the life God has placed us in for now.

Stockpile for yourself spiritual goods that will see you through the tough times and store up treasures in heaven. Study the Word, spend time with the Lord, and live for Him. Learn now to rely on Him completely. Don’t wait until you have no choice.

Labels: Carrie

-posted by Carrie # 3:38 AM 2 Comments

Sep 29, 2008

"Based On Your Visit Today ..."

I have to laugh and I'm sure you will as well. Here's the short article:

The Associated Press
updated 6:23 p.m. ET, Fri., Sept. 26, 2008

PORTLAND, Ore. - A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital’s paperwork: “Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant.”

Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills.

Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital’s computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.

© 2008 The Associated Press
All rights reserved.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26907144/

"An errant keystroke caused the hospital's computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions..." Can you imagine? Think about the consequences if this had been a situation where the hospital staff treated him for an illness he didn't have, or gave him medication to which he was allergic simply because of "an errant keystroke"!

I'm so incredibly grateful we can trust God's input through His infallible Word. We don't need to worry about "an errant keystroke" leading us astray or giving us a false remedy for sin-sick souls. God's Word is COMPLETELY trustworthy! The problem is, we don't believe it or somehow we believe it doesn't pertain to us.

The Word of God is absolutely truth. No errancy. No misleading information. No wrong instruction. No hint of falibility.

Don't put your trust on any individual (even if they're a pastor or teacher) to replace the instruction and remedy for sin found in the Word of God.

Man fails. Computers fail. God never fails!

___________
© 2008 Jan Ross
All Rights Reserved

Labels: Computers, Jan Ross, Pregnancy, The Christian Woman, Truth

-posted by Jan Ross # 7:28 AM 1 Comments

Sep 27, 2008

Teenage Drama

Sometimes I’m not as thankful as I should be for my children. I confess. God always shows me so gently that while my heart was in the right place, I should have handled such and such situation this way. Then He shows me where I went wrong. It’s not to bring about guilt because God doesn’t use that tactic. He allows me the beautiful freedom of making of making my own choices (even if they aren’t in His perfect will) and He still loves me. He waits patiently for me to make this mistake and come to Him so He can show me where I went wrong.

God lovingly allowed me to experience this with my son recently. It wasn’t any major issue but it was something that I wasn’t prepared to handle. It became a dramatic thing because I made it dramatic. Looking at it now, I realize that I didn’t even try to let God handle it nor did I trust Him with it.

My son had his first “girlfriend” and I interfered every way I could short of making him end the relationship. I saw myself becoming exactly what I didn’t want to become and I did it anyway. I think that’s commonly referred to as rebellion. Yes, I became frustrated over it, I cried over it. I even prayed over it. My next step should have been to let it go and trust God to handle it. Notice I said “should have”. I tried to convince my son to handle it the way I thought he should. Of course I’m older, more mature. He should listen to me. Not exactly.

What I learned (and will hopefully be willing to apply the next time) is that my son is a kind hearted young man who loves His Lord.

Just when I thought I had reached the end of my sanity with his relationship, I tried talking with my son (which was more of my trying to force him to do what I thought he should do). After I had run my mouth for as long as he could endure he asked if he could be alone for a little while and walked away. I just knew that he would go to his room and think about what I had said, only to emerge 20 minutes later, more wise and ready to put my “wisdom” into action. What God blessed me with instead was a picture that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

My son didn’t emerge as I thought he would. Twenty minutes passed. Thirty minutes passed. After 45 minutes I could no longer contain my anticipation and went to his room to receive his gratitude (in complete humility of course). As I approached his door I was surprised to not hear anything coming from inside. Could he have fallen asleep? What I found was much more beautiful than I could have imagined. He was on his knees in prayer. I left him alone but continued to wait anxiously for him to come and tell me that he believed it was time for the relationship to end.

Have you ever been so wrong that what you assume to be true isn’t even in the same universe as the actual truth?

My son came out of his room an hour and a half later and hugged me but went straight to his dad who hadn’t tried to tell him what to do. My husband had listened and advised our son only when he was asked. My heart was broken and yet more grateful than words can express. I’m grateful that God blessed me with a husband who is so rich with wisdom and for a son who is so much like his dad. I’m grateful that God chooses to bless me in spite of myself and that God’s handiwork is becoming more and more evident in the lives of my children.

He didn’t “break-up” with her that day or the next. He didn’t break up with her that week. He chose to trust her even when every piece of evidence said that he shouldn’t. He took his concerns to her and lovingly asked her to help him be a better friend to her and he only did this after seeking God’s guidance. What a marvelous friend he is and a true man of God he is becoming!

God’s mercy is defies description. He knows that we’re guilty and yet He chooses to pardon us? He has all the evidence that He needs to lock me up and throw away the key and yet He purchased the key that set me free from the bondage to sin eternally.

“Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.”
Psalm 25:4-7

Labels: choices, Cindy Price, drama, girlfriend, parenthood, relationships, son

-posted by cprice # 8:18 AM 8 Comments

Sep 25, 2008

U-turns can be Upturns, If We Make Him Lord of Them

What a day. You could stick a fork into me and tell that I am absolutely done.

I have a part-time job as a substitute educational assistant in the school district where I live. I do it because I get to choose when I work, how often, and where. That's the up side. The down side is that I get phone calls at 6:30 a.m. most mornings asking if I want to work, and I have to be coherent. And, I work at different schools and step into so many jobs that I usually feel like I'm no help at all. But it pays.

This morning, before I dashed out the door to try to get to a school I'd never been to, I checked my e-mail. I received a reply from a query I'd sent to a Christian magazine about an article I wanted to write for them. Assuming they would think my idea was wonderful, I'd already begun writing it. Well, they thought their audience was already well-acquainted with my topic, and therefore they weren't interested (in a very polite way, of course). Hmmm, I thought, as I bolted for my car. "Lord, I was quite sure this was the topic you suggested to me..."

As I drove, I considered what this meant...a door closing. Then...aha...perhaps you don't want me to keep going after the same publication. I need to get published in more than one venue... But if you're a freelance writer, you know that querying publications can take you to the end of your life. Publications, agents and editors are notorious for taking weeks and weeks to get back to you, although, thankfully, the one I heard from this morning took only about a week. "Lord, I'm not getting any younger."

I had to stop for a drink at Starbucks...I live in Starbucks country. It's a way of life. OK, I'll admit it, I NEEDED it this morning...I was headed to a special ed elementary classroom..."extra hot tall soy chai two pumps cinnamon dolce no foam no water." After I emerged, I looked at my watch, and thought I might not make it on time.

I got in the car and consulted the Google Map. You know when you look at a Google Map and KNOW that the directions are a little screwy?

-Take exit 13 toward Lakemont Blvd SE/SE Newport Way

- Sharp left at 180th Ave SE

- Continue on Lakemont Blvd SE

Say what?!! "Lord, please, don't let me get lost this morning. I know this is asking a lot, but can I please get there on time?"

Yep, I was right. There was no sharp left at 180th Ave SE. None at all. And I was still on track. Then, I passed my very next turn. Shoot!! OK, not much time lost, just make a quick correction. I followed the directions and made it exactly on time. Then the Lord spoke to me. "See how this happened this morning? You had to make a quick turnaround, but you still made it on time. It's the same with your ministry. You've been diverted, but only momentarily. Just trust me. I'll get you there on time."

Forty-five minutes later, I was dealing with a darling 7-year-old named Tyler who decided he didn't want to do his "work" with his plastic letter blocks. He wanted to throw them. And scream. Just across the way a little girl named Nikki threw a tantrum. "Lord, any possibility we could speed up the process?"

After a very challenging day, I ran for the car. I had to pick my youngest up from school early so that I could drive my oldest 45 min. up to the softball training facility for a practice at 4 p.m.

We arrived only to find out that it had been changed to 6 p.m.- -I had somehow missed the e-mail. After jumping through a number of hoops to get up there at the ridiculous time of 4 p.m., I was HOT. My daughter stuck her head out of the facility to inform me that we were two hours early, and I said, "That's it!" I jumped out of the car and stormed up to the unfortunate coach who happened to be standing there. (Remember, they have a Christian staff.) "I am really annoyed!" I announced. I went on a minor tirade about how hard it was to get up there by 4 p.m., and how Christian, who had to finish a huge project tonight, would be now be up until midnight or so finishing it. He looked at me and said, "Hey, how about if she just does a hitting lesson for an hour, then you guys can head home?"

I left my daughter there and drove away, placated, but still somewhat annoyed. Jillian and I were going to drive up to the nearby town--my favorite antiquing destination--to browse around while I calmed down. We pulled out into bumper-to-bumper traffic on the only highway that fed into the town, and spied the sign: "Accident Ahead." Aaarrrgggghhhh!!! I made another u-turn, and headed back to the facility.

When I walked into the facility, I could tell I had been the topic of conversation. I began to feel sheepish. Jose, the head of the facility, walked up to me and said, "Hey, praise God, this will work out even better for you. Christian's getting a semi-private hitting lesson, and you guys will get back home a lot sooner."

He was right. The Lord had worked it out beautifully. Even with the u-turns. And He humbled me in the process. Again.

Gwenn

Labels: u-turns, writing ministry

-posted by Gwenn M. # 6:58 PM 3 Comments

Sep 24, 2008

Pink Fingertips

I’ve learned to cherish pink fingertips, that’s all there is to it! But, I’m sure you’re wondering what on earth I’m talking about. Let me explain …

Two weeks ago, Dana and I left for Washington, DC to be with Andrew while he had surgery. We packed up the car, got little Ethan all settled in (he’s not fond of the car seat), got our maps and backed out of the driveway.

Only 427 miles to go … we were on our way.

We got down the road about six miles and I realized my foot was a bit heavy on the accelerator; I commented to Dana and immediately backed off to slow down just as I noticed a Highway Patrol car coming over the rise ahead. My stomach sunk. I knew … I just knew I got caught. I watched as the car passed me, the brake lights came on while the patrolwoman did a u-turn right past me, blue lights began flashing. I pulled over …

“Ma’am, may I have your license, registration, and proof of insurance? You were doing 65 in a 55.”

Of course, I was rattled. I fumbled around finding all the documentation and handed it to the patrolwoman with a smile. I knew I was wrong—no excuses here! When done, I thanked her and told her to have a nice day and apologized for not paying closer attention. She smiled and said it happens to everyone from time to time.
Only 421 miles to go … we were on our way—again!

I debated whether I should call my husband or not. Nope! I wanted to tell him in person since news like that over the phone isn’t always the best. After all, it was only a silly speeding ticket and he got one a few months back for going faster than me. His ticket was more expensive, so I felt somewhat justified. [ha ha]

We went on our trip and I mostly did better with my heavy foot. There were a couple times I thought I got caught again, but there were people around me with heavier foots! Again, I felt somewhat justified.

We had a wonderful trip and Andrew’s surgery went better than expected. We made it home the following week with a little blue slip in my purse. I set aside some money from the trip to pay my ticket before the court date—there was no sense in appearing in court since I was guilty and fully admitted it to the patrolwoman. Days passed and it remained in the back of my mind to go pay the ticket. But for some reason, I thought I remembered the patrolwoman telling me the court date was September 29th so I never checked.

Yesterday, I was cleaning up the kitchen and had that unmistakable nudge from the Lord … Go check the date on the ticket!

I remember answering audibly, “Ok, yes Sir!”

So, I walked over to my purse and unfolded the dreaded blue slip only to find the court date had already passed and I was in contempt of court. I panicked! What am I going to do? How will I explain this? How much will the penalties and court costs be? How can we afford it? Is there a bench warrant out for my arrest? Will they take me into custody and fingerprint me? Will I have a police record now?

Well, you can imagine how all these thoughts were bombarding me. Ron was at work; Dana was working in the living room. I told her about the situation and we both agreed to just be truthful and explain that I had the dates mixed up and pray for leniency.

I cautiously drove to City Hall (I couldn’t afford to get stopped knowing there may be a bench warrant out for my arrest). As I arrived, I noticed my friend’s van was there—she was working. Praise the Lord! So I parked and went on in and caught her attention. When she came out I had to fight back tears while telling her my story. “What’s going to happen to me? Am I going to be arrested?”

She explained that it was no big deal and I wasn’t in any trouble; the court here gives plenty of time for people to come in to pay their tickets. We walked to the desk and handed the clerk my ticket and cash, and before I could say thank her, I had a receipt in hand.

Praise the Lord! I mean, really … PRAISE THE LORD!

On the way out, I looked at my hands … my fingertips were still pink and not stained by ink from fingerprinting. I deserved so much worse. I was wrong. I broke the law and then I was late in paying my fine. I deserved the stain that comes from sin, but my hands were clean.

Mercy!

Forgiveness!

Cleansing!

Suddenly, I stopped and thanked the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness and cleansing. I so deserve to bear the stain of my own sin. But I stand before Him clean—not only with pink fingertips but my heart is cleansed by Jesus’ righteous blood that was shed for me.

“Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" (Mark 1:41)