"Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment." Matthew 22:37-38

I've heard that many, many times. And it is sooo easy to just let it glide by because you know it already. It might have even been a memory verse when you were a child. You might even have memorized it recently in one of your bible studies. Or you might even sang it in church last Sunday or sang with it on the radio yesterday.

But do you really, truly know it? Is it real in your life? Do you really love the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART? AND with ALL YOUR SOUL? AND with ALL YOUR MIND?

The Experiencing God study (Blackaby et al) has a powerful question related to this: If you were standing before God, could you describe your relationship with Him by saying "I love you with all my heart and all my sould and all my mind and all my strength"?

The first time I encountered the question in February, I was trying to be careful how to answer the question because I knew what it meant. To me, that meant... Do you love God enough to give your life for Him? Not that you need to, but are you willing? Do you love God enough to surrender your most cherished whatever-it-is? Just as God gave His son for us.

I am embarrased to say that I could not say "yes" resoundingly. Yes, I could sing it out these words mindlessly or even with such emotions you would think that it is true. But confronted with the question of "do you, really?", then I realize my pitiful answer.

This made me realize that with all that God was and is to me and what he has done for me, I was not loving him with all my being as what he has commanded! I searched myself deeply and I realized that I was rebelling from not getting what I have been desiring for a long time - a child of my own.

In between, I have had gone through a laparoscopic procedure and 3 medicated cycles of trying to concieve unsuccessfully. I have cried to the Lord and He has comforted me dearly and sweetly. I wanted the Lord to tell me or show me what the future held. I didn't get the answer I want, only what I needed.

He has assured me that everything is happening according to His plan and that He is always in control. As He has been in my life since I have become His daughter. Imagine the worrying and anxiety the Lord has saved me from! Once again, He has given me His peace that passes all understanding.

God also brought to my mind Hebrews "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance." (Hebrews 11:13) As if saying, "see I promised things of more importance to these people and they were faithful until death. How then do you choose to live?".

Such a powerful challenge.

So the second time I encountered the question this September, I could now heartily say yes, yes, yes! I do love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind!

How about you? What's in your heart? Where is your soul? What's in your mind?

Is it God or is it in the things of the world?

Can you say with all conviction that you love the Lord our God with ALL your heart, and with ALL your soul, and with ALL your mind?

If not, be not dismayed, my sister. God loves you anyway even if you cannot declare your love for Him with all your being. God will draw you back in.

Labels: christian living, Rela

In the pattern of AA introduction, I hereby declare that this is how everyone should introduce themselves at The Christian Women (TCW). See, I even have the acronym already. :)

Joking aside, I'm one of the new contributors and perhaps the last one to introduce myself. I didn't want to introduce myself and then not post anything for a long time. So I decided to just introduce myself when I am ready to post something. So here I am...

Let's see, what can I say about myself?

I am from the Philippines - born and raised there. I immigrated to the US in 2003 and lived in Boise, ID for 4 years. My husband and I just recently relocated to Austin, TX (dodged the worst winter in the last 5 years...wooo...perfect timing!) and have been here for almost a year now (loving the warm weather...just know when to go out in the summer to avoid the heat!).

I started my Blogger blog in July 2007 but didn't really write a lot. In fact, I only wrote 13 posts in 10 months! My writing started picking up in May 2008. So technically, I'm just a newbie blogger.

Anyway, I was raised by a Catholic father and an Aglipayan mother. (Aglipay is a Philippine church which resulted from the Philippine revolution from Spain and Roman Catholicism.) They were not real church-goers though. So, I guess they just agreed that we should be raised as Aglipayan. What I knew about God and church was what I got from attending the Sunday mass and various church activities. I knew of God but I didn't really know God.

When I went to high school in the city, I lived in the on-campus dormitories. Being separated from my parents and being away from home at 12 years old was the opening that God used to introduce Himself to me. So, God adopted me into His family on my freshman year in high school. He used a Campus Crusade for Christ worker who faithfully came to our high school campus and who would gather interested children to hear about God. I understood what she explained (and what I now know as The Four Spiritual Laws). She used those 3x2 cartoon tracts with a yellow cover to illustrate how God loved me, how sin separated me from God, how only Christ can bridge that separation and how I can be reconciled with God. I still clearly remember the page showing ego on the throne versus the cross (representing Christ) on the throne.

I didn't grow much as a Christian after that. I do not remember anymore if the CCC lady stopped coming or if I didn't go back to her sessions (which was a definite possibility because I quickly learned how to play volleyball and I became "addicted" to it to the point of playing under the noontime sun (think 100F). But I do know that after that I was questioning, albeit silently in my heart and in my mind, my upbringing's religion and beliefs.

Fast forward to the mid-1990s... I was on a successful professional path in the technology industry - going to different countries meeting with colleagues, visiting customers, and presenting technical papers, being recognized, making good money, lots of material incentives, etc. My personal life though was a mess - breaking up with boyfriends, missing many family occassions, always with my geeky contraptions to be on top at work. Work, work, work was all that consumed me. But somehow I had this sense of emptiness and insecurity.

I started trying out different churches...

And along the way, am glad I found Him again. Or should I say He found me. He was always there, I just was too busy with my own life. I was the one sitting on the throne!

From that time on, He has taught me that He is my Father whom I can always depend on. And just like a child who asks of a father, the Father knows what is best for me.

He has taught me that He is my Friend whom I can go to anytime - whether in happiness or in sadness, in excitement or in boredom, in anticipation or in exasperation, in hopefulness or in discouragement. He is a loving friend by my side.

I am so grateful that He is a faithful God. He never let go of me from Day 1. The CCC worker planted the seed, not many watered though. But the seed? The seed grew miraculously, even if slowly for the lack of feeding and watering. Indeed, He is the ultimate grower! In Him, nothing is impossible!

I now know what it means to be "confident of this, that He who began a good work in you (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6) I continue to be a work in progress but I rest on the Lord's faithfulness.

Now that I have introduced myself, I look forward to sharing my thoughts. And hearing back from you, of course! :)

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Rela blogs about her daily life at An Ordinary Life and her "secret" fertility journey in The Saga of Becoming Fruitful. So probably, you will hear from her once a week at the most. If you miss her, go visit her at her other blogs and tell her about your visit by leaving her a comment. She would absolutely love that!

Labels: introduction, Rela