Sep

27

Teenage Drama

By Cindy | 7 Comments


Sometimes I’m not as thankful as I should be for my children. I confess. God always shows me so gently that while my heart was in the right place, I should have handled such and such situation this way. Then He shows me where I went wrong. It’s not to bring about guilt because God doesn’t use that tactic. He allows me the beautiful freedom of making of making my own choices (even if they aren’t in His perfect will) and He still loves me. He waits patiently for me to make this mistake and come to Him so He can show me where I went wrong.

God lovingly allowed me to experience this with my son recently. It wasn’t any major issue but it was something that I wasn’t prepared to handle. It became a dramatic thing because I made it dramatic. Looking at it now, I realize that I didn’t even try to let God handle it nor did I trust Him with it.

My son had his first “girlfriend” and I interfered every way I could short of making him end the relationship. I saw myself becoming exactly what I didn’t want to become and I did it anyway. I think that’s commonly referred to as rebellion. Yes, I became frustrated over it, I cried over it. I even prayed over it. My next step should have been to let it go and trust God to handle it. Notice I said “should have”. I tried to convince my son to handle it the way I thought he should. Of course I’m older, more mature. He should listen to me. Not exactly.

What I learned (and will hopefully be willing to apply the next time) is that my son is a kind hearted young man who loves His Lord.

Just when I thought I had reached the end of my sanity with his relationship, I tried talking with my son (which was more of my trying to force him to do what I thought he should do). After I had run my mouth for as long as he could endure he asked if he could be alone for a little while and walked away. I just knew that he would go to his room and think about what I had said, only to emerge 20 minutes later, more wise and ready to put my “wisdom” into action. What God blessed me with instead was a picture that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

My son didn’t emerge as I thought he would. Twenty minutes passed. Thirty minutes passed. After 45 minutes I could no longer contain my anticipation and went to his room to receive his gratitude (in complete humility of course). As I approached his door I was surprised to not hear anything coming from inside. Could he have fallen asleep? What I found was much more beautiful than I could have imagined. He was on his knees in prayer. I left him alone but continued to wait anxiously for him to come and tell me that he believed it was time for the relationship to end.

Have you ever been so wrong that what you assume to be true isn’t even in the same universe as the actual truth?

My son came out of his room an hour and a half later and hugged me but went straight to his dad who hadn’t tried to tell him what to do. My husband had listened and advised our son only when he was asked. My heart was broken and yet more grateful than words can express. I’m grateful that God blessed me with a husband who is so rich with wisdom and for a son who is so much like his dad. I’m grateful that God chooses to bless me in spite of myself and that God’s handiwork is becoming more and more evident in the lives of my children.

He didn’t “break-up” with her that day or the next. He didn’t break up with her that week. He chose to trust her even when every piece of evidence said that he shouldn’t. He took his concerns to her and lovingly asked her to help him be a better friend to her and he only did this after seeking God’s guidance. What a marvelous friend he is and a true man of God he is becoming!

God’s mercy is defies description. He knows that we’re guilty and yet He chooses to pardon us? He has all the evidence that He needs to lock me up and throw away the key and yet He purchased the key that set me free from the bondage to sin eternally.

“Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.”
Psalm 25:4-7

Sep

20

Unlikely Story of Redemption

By Cindy | 5 Comments


Jody Foster gives a stellar performance in The Brave One with her role as Erica Bain, a talk radio host in New York City. Her show is called “Street Walk” and that’s exactly what she does. She walks the streets of what she called “the safest big city in the world” with a microphone and recorder in hand. She records sounds from all over the city and then broadcasts them across the radio waves.

The story line is that she and her fiance’ are walking their dog after dark and are attacked by four men. The perpetrators had stolen a video camera prior to the attack on the character played by Foster and record the entire attack. Her fiance’ is beaten to death. She is beaten nearly to death but recovers physically. Out of fear, rage and need for revenge, she decides to take the law into her own hands and when she is unwilling to wait the required time prescribed by law to purchase a gun, she buys one illegally. At this point, I thought I knew what was going to happen. “Typical vigilante movie”, right? Wrong.

The movie is violent, contains bad language and sexual content, but the story of redemption literally took my breath away.

The authorities seem to be doing nothing about her case against the “men” who attacked her and her fiance’. Like I said, she takes matters into her own hands. After the killing, she is brazen enough to visit the scene of the crime and even interviews homicide Detective Mercer (played by Terrence Howard) about who the perpetrator might be.

After Bain has committed a few murders, Detective Howard begins to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Through a series of events, the recorded evidence of the attack is sent to Bain’s cell phone. She then forwards it to Detective Howard along with the simple attached message “good-bye”. Knowing what she is going to do, he is able to obtain the address of the men who killed her fiance’. He goes to the location but finds that Bain has already killed three of the men. When Howard comes on the scene, Bain is being choked with a crowbar and is defenseless. Howard stops the attacker and has him on the ground at gunpoint as Bain is screaming at them both. Howard is able to convince her to give him her gun and follows is a remarkable story of redemption.

Detective Howard knows beyond any doubt that Bain is guilty. He is so desperate to save her, however, that he chooses to put the law aside. He gives her his gun and walks away, allowing her to murder the last of the four that took part in her own attack and the murder of her fiance’. Howard steps back onto the scene and tells Bain the story of an arrest gone wrong in which he was wounded and the perpetrator escaped. She accepts his gun and shoots him in the shoulder and is able to walk away from the scene of the crime. Detective Howard then cleans her gun and his and puts her gun in the hand of the man that Bain has just murdered. The story ends with her fleeing free.

No, this is not a typical story of redemption. It won’t fit into any theological box and it shouldn’t be seen within the walls of a church. What I see, however, more than the violence, language and sexual content is the gift that God has given us as His children.

God knew without a doubt that we were guilty of sin. We are murderers, liars, cheaters, adulterers, etc…..We deserve to be tried, convicted and persecuted for our crimes. I personally have never committed a crime that is punishable by law but I have many times, committed crimes against God. He catches me in sin every day because He is always with me. He knows even more than I what I deserve and it’s not a pretty picture. Out of His great love for me, He asks me to surrender my weapon to Him. Some of my weapons of choice have been slanderous words, backbiting, lying, not submitting to those in authority over me, etc….My rap sheet is long and grievous, but because of the Blood of the Lamb, I have a clean slate.

My Savior came onto the scene of my life. He knew my sin. He knew I was guilty. Instead of casting me from His Presence, He asked for my weapon and when I surrendered it to Him, He wiped it clean, removed my guilty stains and set me free. All that was required of me was the surrender of my weapon of sin.

Romans 3:23-25 (The Message)

God Has Set Things Right

21-24But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. 25-26God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.

Aug

26

When Does Life Begin?

By Cindy | 4 Comments


As I’ve been in prayer about what to post here and searching my heart for something relevant to share, I was reminded of the recent political forum that was hosted by Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. I had almost talked myself out of posting this because it is controversial and it may bring about some angry feedback, but the fact is that this is a Christian blog and therefore, I hope that both those of us that contribute here and those who may read this will carefully consider what I believe that God has led me to say.

I was pleasantly surprised by the forum in general. My hope was to watch it with an open mind and listen to what each candidate had to say and try to sit through it in it’s entirety without changing the channel or turning the television off completely. The questions that Pastor Warren posed were, I believe, relevant and timely, especially for those of us who want more than just the normal political jargon from the candidates that the media notoriously supplies us with.

The Associate Pastor at my church sent out an e-mail today about the forum and he posed one additional question that he (and now I) would have liked to hear an answer on from Barak Obama. Following is one of the questions that Warren posed to Mr. Obama in the forum.

Now, let’s deal with abortion; 40 million abortions since Roe v. Wade. As a pastor, I have to deal with this all of the time, all of the pain and all of the conflicts. I know this is a very complex issue. Forty million abortions, at what point does a baby get human rights, in your view?

That should be a simple question for someone who claims to be a Christian to answer, right? Apparently not.

Well, you know, I think that whether you’re looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity, you know, is above my pay grade.

Considering the following that Obama has, I have to wonder if even Christians are undecided about the time that life begins and when a person is given human rights. How is that possible? Has God not made quite clear that all life is valuable and precious? Two passages of Scripture testify to God’s perspective of human life.

First, Genesis 1:26-27 describes the Creator’s intention in creating human life. God did something distinctive in human being, his most valued creation. He created men and women “in his own image.” This fact makes human life distinctive and highly valued. In Genesis 9:6, God first forbids murder because people bear God’s image. Though His hand is visible in every aspect of creation, no other part of that creation is a replication of His image. In Colossians 3:10, Paul affirms the sanctifying work of God in renewing his image in us through Christ.

The second truth that sets human life apart as distinctive is that God sent his Son to die on our behalf. In this way, he demonstrated his love for us (Romans 5:8) and, at the same time, demonstrated the value he places on human life. Jesus became human and lived among us (John 1:14) and he died to reconcile us to God. God regards human life as precious.

How then can anyone, especially a Christian, simply say that knowledge of the time when a human being is entitled to right is “above my pay grade?”

Aug

22

Struggling with Being Still

By Cindy | 3 Comments


If you could look inside my brain (scary place I tell ya) you’d see something similar to a new ticker displaying all my thoughts. They don’t scroll in any particular order and unfortunately, not much clarity either. I try in vain to grab one of these nuggets of information, analyze it, try to figure out what to do with this little jewel and end up making a new folder to store it in only to lose it in the hard drive. Yes, I told you it’s a scary place. It’s called ADHD and I got it bad. It has caused me more difficulty than my news ticker is capable of displaying. My one hope, my one consolation is that when I can force myself to pull away and actually sort out my thoughts, God does wonderous things. My merciful Savior reminds me often of Psalm 46:10.

“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

It’s a beautiful verse of course but I’m pretty sure God meant for those words to be a comfort to us when He inspired the sons of Korah to pen it. I’m wondering if there is anyone else who sometimes feels as if God has His hand on their shoulder nearly having to command them to be still. Yeah, I know I’m not alone in this.

All kidding aside, I do struggle with the whole idea of being still much of the time. My thoughts race and if I stay still for any length of time I literally begin to panic. It makes me wonder how I’m able to be still and just “be” with God. My relationship with my Father is such that He will often give me the opportunity to do something that seems impossible to me or to continue on my merry way only to realize quickly that my way isn’t so merry afterall.

Several months ago I was in a period of God showing me something that He wanted me to do that just didn’t make sense to me and I struggled with it for several weeks. He wanted me to sit still. So I sat….now what. He persisted in telling me that He wanted me to sit still. My logic was that I couldn’t possibly accomplish my ever growing list of things to do if I had to be still. Knowing me like He does, He got through to me in such a wonderful way. My children had gone to school, the house was quiet and a gentle rain began to fall. Oh the peace of that sound, especially on a tin roof. So I opened the window above my bed and lay across the bed and just listened. Yes I did try to talk to my Lord a few times but He would gently hush me. There was no sound apart from the rain and my Lord spoke to me. It was nothing ground breaking or monumental but it didn’t have to be. I just opened my heart and let it flow. It wasn’t an emotional time. There was nothing but peace, the peace that only the Peacemaker can give. Now, months later, I am still in this season of stillness. My mind still goes like a news ticker but instead of trying to stop it which only leads to frustration, I know when it’s time for me to unplug and retreat to the stillness with my Lord. I wait with Him there until my “peace-o-stat” is full and then it’s almost like He releases me to continue on my path.

Do yourself a favor and don’t try to take on your news ticker until your “peace-o-stat” is full. He will give you time to be pulled in a million different directions if you simply have your tank full.

Aug

19

Coming by to say “hello”

By Cindy | 2 Comments


Hi and welcome,

I’m so glad you came by. I look forward to getting to you know and sharing things in my life with you. For starters, I’m a 41 year old married mother of two wonderful children and a dog that I affectionately refer to as “caffeine on legs”. He’s a Jack Russell Terrier named Rudy. My husband and I have been married for nearly 21 years. We are members of a local Baptist church where we are both active. We teach Sunday School together, I am involved in the women’s ministry and I host a small group.

I have recently started a Christian message board/chat/arcade that is both challenging and rewarding.

Even at my age, I’m still dreaming. Those dreams are to get my book published and go to college. I believe that I have been called into women’s ministry of some sort. I have a strong desire to see women set free from bondages that hold us back from receiving all that God has for us. I also know that I need credentials to do that.

I look forward to growing with others, teaching and learning as this site continues to grow.

God’s love to you,

Cindy