Mar

2

Love letters…

By Becki | 2 Comments


We’re all women here, right?  Who doesn’t love a sweet, from the heart love letter?  Thought so. 

My “love language” is words of affirmation {if you don’t know yours, you MUST find out…http://www.5lovelanguages.com/…read the book too}. 

What does ”words of affirmation” mean?  It means that what you say to me sticks like hot glue right to my heart.  I need and crave positive words affirming me as a woman, mom, friend, sister, daughter, co-worker, on and on.  Words fill my love tank.  And words can empty it too.

I’m 38 years old and recently remarried.  I’ve only been calling Jesus my BFF for about 5 years now.  Before that I was hell on wheels.  I made every mistake in the book.  I loved the wrong people, hurt myself and everyone around me, made horribly, dumb decisions….BUT I lived to tell about it.  God has been pursuing my heart for a very long time.  Looking back I can see it, see HIM there beside me.  I ignored Him…never even saw Him, really.  And then one day the tug to my heart was too much to bear.  I finally let go and let God take over. 

My life has never been the same since.

I’ve learned that people often view God as they view their earthly father.  If you have a good, loving dad, you tend to see God that way too.  If you had a distant, uncaring dad, unfortunately, you see God that way too.  I find it hard at times to see God close to me, caring for me and there if I need Him.  Of course, He is and always has been just that….THERE.

There are sooooo many blessings that have come from that decision to let God in.  My family tree has literally changed.  My girls have a realtionship with God like I never knew a kid could have.  That makes my heart overflow with gratitude to Him for not only changing me, but changing them.

The biggest blessing I’ve received, though?  My husband Mark.  Not only does he write me sweet love letters once in a while, but he models for my girls exactly what they should be looking for in a husband.  He is the answer to my biggest prayer.  Our marriage is not easy but it is where God meant for us both to be.  Nevermind that Mark makes me over the top happy, but he is laying a path in my girls’ hearts to NEVER settle for anything less than what God has prepared for them.  They will have healthy, productive, joy-filled {not always easy but blessed none the less} marriages because they see what a REAL God made man looks like.  WHAT A BLESSING.

I am taken aback on a regular basis by the love that God has for me and the fact that He has given me far more than I deserve.  He has never given up on me in a world where I’ve been written off more times than I can count.  He pursued me when I was running away as fast as I could….and He caught me.  He listens when I speak to Him, He crys with me when I cry, He laughs at me on a regular basis {I’m positive of that….I fall UP the stairs, people} and He holds my hand when I need it held….in fact, He has never let it go.  He has written a love letter on my heart that NO ONE can take away from me.

And what girl doesn’t love a sweet, from the heart love letter?

Watch this video for a love letter from God:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEfJpJ1lhQc

Feb

19

Blinders….

By Becki | 3 Comments


I’ve been so busy lately I’ve hardly been able to tell my head from my rear. Seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything that needs done DONE.

Can I get a witness?!

I had a convo with God the other day about how to get it all done and how to prioritize, what to cut out, what to keep. I’m truly wearing myself out just thinking about it right now. The word that kept coming up through that convo was “blinders”.

At the time I was thinking it was just my mind wandering {It does that, ya know}. I went on about my business that day but the word keeps circling back around in my thoughts.

Blinders.

What does that even mean? I have no real idea. Other than the picture I get in my head is of a horse with her “blinders” on meant to keep her from getting distracted. Horse owners use them to keep the horse from seeing things and getting spooked or distracted. {I think….I don’t own a horse, only been near one a few times…so yeah. I’m a warehouse of knowledge on this subject and you should totally take me as an authority here}.

But if I’m right and that’s the case, then what is God telling me about blinders?

Maybe He wants me to wear them? I will admit that I am NOT fashion forward enough to literally strap them on my head and wear them. 

If I were to put on a pair, a set…wait…a pair {whatever} of blinders, what am I to be blocking out? The distractions of this world are immense. There are sooo many things that can get me off course, make me lose my focus. Kids, husband, job, house cleaning, working out, fundraising, THE STINKIN’ OLYMPICS {OMG-ish….don’t even get me started on watching them on tv! They can literally suck hours of my time into oblivion!}. That’s all life, though….life CAN get in the way of the to do list.

BUT….WAIT…..

What if God is telling me about the blinders I have keeping HIM out? Maybe He is telling me to take OFF my blinders and let HIM into my world more. Or better yet, keep them on but tune my newly focused vision on Him instead of everything else.

Yeah….I think that’s it. Focus on HIM, not my list.

The bible says in Proverbs 4:25: “Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” There it is…stop looking around, getting distracted and keep our eyes focused on GOOD things and RIGHT things and HIS promises. I know…easier said than done!

I find myself too busy to pray everyday. I find myself too busy to get in my bible as much as I should. I find myself gossiping or saying things that I know are not pleasing to Him. I bet {if I was the bettin’ type, which I’m not} that if I actually put my time with Him first, I’d have the energy to get things done. I bet I’d get the right things done first….the things that matter checked off the list daily. I also bet I’d not be writing this post right now.

So….now what? I think I’ll stop at the horse supply store on my way home {yes….I drive right by one} and pick up some serious blinders. Maybe literally wearing them will do the trick. You should be seeing me on the cover of Vogue in March….wearing blinders will be the next fashion accessory on the market {you heard it here first, people}. Either that….or I’ll be on the next episode of “What Not to Wear”! :0}

Jan

20

How do YOU market YOU?

By Becki | 4 Comments


Hello, world.  My name is Becki and here is what I am: I’m a believer and follower of Jesus Christ.  I’m a wife and a mom of 4 girls.  I’m a photographer and I own my own business.  I live out in the country in a state where we experience the extremes of all four seasons (i.e. the incredible ice storm that has laid 1/2″ of ICE on the ground outside as I write this.  Only 60 days ’til Spring, people!  Yeah.  I’m keeping track.). 

Here is what I am not: A marketing genius.

I wish I was.  As I’ve been working on the 2010 marketing plan for my photography business, I have had an overwhelming urge to stick a pen deep into my eye….I’m pretty sure that would be less painful.  Much less painful.

I figured my marketing plan out though….partially.  Selling yourself….making others want what you offer….is NO easy task.  There are hundreds of photographers within a 300 mile radius of me.  Some are fantastic, some are good and, I won’t lie, some stink.  But what makes me special?  What makes my services unique?  Why spend your money with me rather than the next guy just up the road?

This had me thinking.  Outside of photography how do I market myself?  How do others see me and know what really makes me tick?  I sure hope that when I have road rage, no one is watching.  Or when my patience is paper thin, I hope no one sees me snap.  That’s a hard question, folks.  Take a second and ask yourself those same questions.

Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

What did you come up with?  Was it easy or hard?  Do you really know what makes you special or unique from the next person?  Besides your hair color or how you look, I mean.

More importantly than the things I mention above, I am a DAUGHTER OF THE KING.  I’m HIS child.  I was created just as I am for HIS purpose.  He knows my every thought….the deepest desires of my heart.  He even knows my sins without my ever breathing a word of them.  It doesn’t MATTER what anyone else thinks of me.  What matters is that the light that fills me from within gets out for the world to see. 

Surely “good Christians” do good deeds and give their time and money away to the needy.  Surely they never make mistakes or say things that are inappropriate or hurtful to another. 

Surely.

You get where I’m going here yet?  It’s truly not what we do that makes us marketable to others.  It’s who we are….deep down.  It’s not that I fall (and sometimes very hard) but how I pick myself back up and keep going that matters.  It’s where I get my desire to press on in the dark times and be thankful for the blessings I’ve been given, not dwell on the misfortune I’m struggling with at the moment.  That desire to press on comes from but one source….the God of my heart.  He fills me up to overflowing and its there that anyone around me can see inside to my truest heart.

Its how I put one foot in front of the other and keep my eyes focused on the Lord that makes me marketable to Him.  Take me or leave me, this is who I am.  And…at the end of the day…it’s what God sees when He looks at me.  I believe, with all my faults and failures and just as I am, God would totally hire ME as His photographer.  I’m just sayin’.  :0}

Jan

1

A prayer for 2009….

By Becki | 2 Comments


My 2009 New Year’s Prayer….resolutions don’t work but prayers DO.

Father,

First and foremost, thank you. For giving me Your strength when I am weak, Your patience when I am anxious, Your understanding when I am confused. Thank you for loving me JUST AS I AM. I ask that You shine Your light in the yet dark places of my heart…help me sort it all out. You have my permission to squeeze out every last bit of yuckiness left in me.

I ask You to show me 2008 with Your eyes….show me my failures and successes as You see them, not as I see them. I pray that you reveal the things I need to correct and the things I need to protect in 2009.

Because You have taken up full residence in my heart, I am able to endure the painful heartache and complete joy that is sure to come as You mold me into Your perfect image. I know that Your plans for me are good. I know that You have a purpose for me and that Your hand will shape me into what You desire me to be….and at Your hand I surrender.

Thank You for a new year. A new year to seek You, seek my heart and seek LIFE….the life that only comes from knowing You. Thank You for my beautiful girls, my family, my sweet friends. Please keep them all happy and healthy and safe and I pray that they seek You has much as You are seeking them.

I thank You for all that You have done, all that You are doing and all that You are going to do. I look forward to my “breathing” time with You in 2009.
I love You with all my heart. In Jesus’ precious name I pray….

Amen….and Amen.

Nov

11

Hope floats….

By Becki | 2 Comments


Like most of us, I struggle with hope. Hope in God, hope in the good things to come and hope in others. By definition, hope is:
  1. A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment.
  2. In Christianity, the theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God’s help.

The book of Job is full of hope….Job’s hope that he will be healed and his heart will be restored. Job is ever so faithful and he cannot be broken….no matter what is done to his heart, his land, his fortune, his health. He BELIEVES that God is what He says He is, only faltering from that faith for a split second. Job trusts God. He just does.

Do you? Do I?

I have often wondered where my faith and hope truly rest. Do I believe that God is who He says He is? Do I have FAITH that He will get me through any and all situations with the ultimate goal of showing His glory and my heart for Him growing deeper? I don’t know. I just don’t.

In my recent days I have seen, over and over again, how quick I am to just take the ball I am given and run with it. Starting a business while raising three kids and working full time is not easy. You just learn to do everything yourself for fear that something might not get done. If it doesn’t, uh-oh. If it does, whew. That’s it. No big fan fare for a job well done, no big “HOORAY! You did it!” Just….done.

With this taking the ball and running mentality comes FEAR. Big time fear. You start playing “what ifs”…..What if I don’t get it all done? What if my child doesn’t take a bath and have a clean pair of jeans to wear to school tomorrow? What if I can’t get my orders filled quickly enough or I’m so tired from being up late that I can’t do my “paying job” well enough anymore? Or what if I forget to send lunch money to school? What if one can’t go to an event because another has something else more important to attend? Unfortunately, I can’t be in more than one place at a time (and actually….now that I think about it….I’m glad I can’t. I’m tired enough as it is!).

So I’ve been looking for an answer. An answer to why my hope isn’t fully in God. And you guessed it. Yep….God whacked me upside the head and gave me my answer. I love it when He does that. :) My answer is in Jeremiah 29:11-13.

“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future. Then you
will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen
to you. You will seek me and find me when
you seek me with all your heart.”

I love this verse. Probably in my top 10 favs. But…and yes there is a but….I MISSED this part. Verse 13. The part where God says “SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND YOU WILL FIND ME“. That’s what I have been missing. My lack of faith has lead to fear, which lead to lack of seeking Him with all my heart, which lead to having only partial hope in God and putting the rest of my hope in my own limited abilities.

DUH. DUH. DUH.

Now what? Now what. Well….I seek Him. With all that I am and all that I have. I open my heart to His direction and in that openness is where I find Him. I stop being so hard on myself, stop wearing myself out and give God the chance to take care of things for me. I let Him have control of the reins and steer me down His path where I can only hope is more peace and less stress. That will not be easy but as my favorite line from my favorite movie of all time “Hope Floats” goes….”Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will….”

HOPE….I’M GIVIN’ YOU A CHANCE. SO FLOAT ALREADY! :)

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