Have you ever sat in church and one word keeps standing out as if highlighted with a celestial marker? Today, for me it was broken.
My pastor spoke on Jeremiah 31 where God says even though man had broken covenants with Him time and again, He was going to bring forth a new covenant. My pastor said the only way the outcome would be different was if God made that new covenant through the Son of Man – Jesus who would by His sinless nature, never break it.
Then, the psalm we read in church, Psalm 51:9, said this – “Make me hear of joy and gladness that the body you have broken may rejoice.”
Broken. The word pressed against my heart. Perhaps because that is how I have felt as of late – in a good way. Scripture says we are like jars of clay and one of my favorite songs is by a missionary I met when we lived in Florida who wrote a song about that subject. Sue Carmichael sings about how we must sometimes be crushed into what is called slip , then pugged and stripped of our strength and pride in order to be the vessel God wants us to be.
Being a self-employed widow living on a shoestring budget writing books and articles, I am there. But, by the grace of God, I have recently received two unsolicited monetary gifts to help tide me over for a while and, for the first time, I feel as if this is really the direction God wants to take me. (Notice I said He wants to take me, not wants me to take. I am learning to release control).
My three Bible studies (one released just this month) and novel Focused are starting to sell on Amazon, and I am getting more invitations to have vendor booths at women’s conference and to speak – which is where the majority of my sales happen. In fact, except for Easter, I am booked until the middle of May, and in June will speak at an international Christian women’s conference. My books will be featured in an ad in the April issue of Charisma Magazine – a 3K donation made on my behalf by a reader who liked my novel.
Like a wobbly toddler learning to take the first few steps, I am now headed down this humbling road, waiting and watching as God pieces me into what He wants. I do not know where this is headed. It may be a lifelong journey or dead-end in a few months. But I do know this. God keep His promises.
The point is – only by Christ living in me, can I even begin to try to keep my covenant to Him – to love Him with all my heart, mind and soul, and to be His hands and feet by reaching out to a broken world through my words. That means to be broken for His sake, yet not break my faith. Like David in Psalm 51, I can now rejoice in this brokenness, and hear the joy and gladness.
My prayer is that you will let Him break you of whatever is keeping you from hearing that as well.