My eyesight is poor. I have had glasses on my face since third grade. At times, my spiritual eyes are even worse. I just can’t see God’s hand in my life.
Do you know the story of Hansel and Gretel? As they wandered into the forest, Hansel left bread crumbs behind to mark their way. But the birds and animals ate them. At times, I feel as if all my bread crumbs leading down the right path have been chomped up as well, or blown off the walk, or rolled under leaves. The trees of doubt loom over me and I become anxious. The road seems dark.
Lord, give me iridescent bread crumbs – just a few so I know I am still going in the right direction.
And, He usually does. Now is a prime example. Freelance writing for your sole income is iffy at best. But, I believe I’m writing for God as well as about Him. It is just at times when the inflowing work is not matching the outflowing bills my palms sweat. Should I get a “real” job and devote less time to writing so I can make ends meet? Am I making any progress? Are my books finally going to take off and sell hundreds then thousands of copies? Am I fooling myself into thinking my writing is any good?
Plop. A few shiny crumbs land on my path – not too many lest I tear off too fast down this road. “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” – Winston Churchill
God drops one, maybe two – like directional arrows , such as winning third place out of thousands of entries in a Writers Digest contest yesterday which lead to a publishing contract for my latest Bible study, and having a story of mine make it into the next Chicken Soup for the Soul. Baby steps. Small moves which say, “Yes, child, keep going. Let me handle the details.”
God is faithful. He understands our human tendency to doubt. His own Son prayed fervently in the garden the night before his death to have that cup taken from him. Choose another way, Dad, okay? I’d rather not go down this path. Are you sure this is the only way for me to go? In the end He yielded. I believe God gave His son ample strength and peace to keep going. All through out the next day throught he inquiries and beating, and the final walk up to Calvary, His loving Father doled out the crumbs. I’m still here. I am with you through this.
I believe our loving Father would rather us come to Him with honest doubts than turn our backs on Him and ignore His power in our lives. Questioning is not the lack of faith but the beginning of its renewal. It’s the way we get our heart and minds back in the right direction.
So ask away. Then wait in faith. I bet, at just the right time, you will see one or two reflective little crumbs on your road which whisper, “Go on. Go this way.”
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. . . Psalm 119:105